First Draft

My name is Igor Léllis Ferreira, aged 20, and I’m currently a fulltime student at Universidade Federal de Minas Gerais. My major is English Translation, but I’m really prone to change it to Literary Studies. My intention is to follow academic career, thus becoming a Professor in the very University I’m attending at the moment. My favorite area within English is undoubtedly Literature; therefore, I’m not so fond of Linguistics. Even though I’d rather work on researching or theory construction, I’ve already taken some shots on teaching, as I had given classes for both regular High School and private courses. As for improving my English skills, I went through an exchange program held in University of Washington, Seattle, during my last vacation. In addition, I took a part on a special tutorship for a subject called “Inglês Técnico” last semester, which was held specially for the Tourism students, which consists in a joint collaboration between courses.

Writing is also one of the activities I’m into; “The Eternity You Wished For” is the title of the novel being written by me. The authors I hold dear the most are William Blake ( poetry and prose ) and Jonathan Culler ( theory ). My major’s choice was probably made upon my Dad’s influence, since he used to expose me to many languages throughout music and by reading Literature aloud for me by the time I was an infant.



Giselle's suggestions:
Igor, through your biodata I could see that your writing skills are really good, since I had no problem on fully understanding your ideas and no grammar mistakes were found.
Because of that (in my humble opinion) I have only one suggestion to make:
in this sentence:
I’ve already taken some shots on teaching
try to change this sentence in order to be more formal, since your text is all in formal English.

Having that change, I think your text will be ready for your second draft!!!
Good Job!!!

Final Version

My name is Igor Léllis Ferreira, aged 20, and I’m currently a fulltime student at Universidade Federal de Minas Gerais. My major is English Translation, but I’m really prone to change it to Literary Studies. My intention is to follow academic career, thus becoming a Professor in the very University I’m attending at the moment. My favorite area within English is undoubtedly Literature; therefore, I’m not so fond of Linguistics. Even though I’d rather work on researching or theory construction, I’ve already given a chance for teaching, as I had given classes for both regular High School and private courses. As for improving my English skills, I went through an exchange program held in University of Washington, Seattle, during my last vacation. In addition, I took a part on a special tutorship for a subject called “Inglês Técnico” last semester, which was held specially for the Tourism students, which consists in a joint collaboration between courses.

Writing is also one of the activities I’m into: “The Eternity You Wished For” is the title of the novel being written by me. The authors I hold dear the most are William Blake (poetry and prose) and Jonathan Culler (theory). My major’s choice was probably made upon my Dad’s influence, since he used to expose me to many languages throughout music and by reading Literature aloud for me by the time I was an infant.